The Man in a Suit

I’ve waited to do this. I’ve waited a couple of hours after having watched the episode, not because of spoilers, but because I had to cope. I still haven’t, and it’ll be long, but, for now, I am able to write this.

IN MEMORY OF JOHN REESE

I’ve always been biased, can’t deny it, I’ve loved all characters on the show, but, well, if I had to pick, I’d always pick John. Then Joss. My favorite characters not just in Person of Interest, but of any other show or book or movie, simply, two of my favorites of all times.

When Carter died, I was lost, it took me a while to cope and, honestly, I still can’t make myself watch that specific episode, well, I guess it’ll be the same for Return 0. In truth, it shouldn’t have been a surprise, even though, apparently (because I haven’t watched it) the trailer for the finale had been wrapped up in a way that it seemed that it would be Finch to sacrifice (and here I could say they tricked us again, just like they did with Carter), I kinda knew, since long, that it would be John instead. I’ve always had the feeling he would be the one to go because they let it slip through half words, till Nolan openly admitted that, hadn’t it been for Sarah Shahi’s pregnancy, they would have had to have a “complicated talk with Jim”, meaning that, yes, they were going to kill off John Reese. Jokingly, Nolan also said it at the SDCC (or was it Paley? Can’t quite remember), when asked what would happen in the 100^th episode of the series, and honestly, to some extents, her fans will forgive me, but I was almost relieved it was Root to go instead. Relieved just for a moment, then I realized there were still 3 episodes left and, because war requires sacrifice, and the sacrifice of the queen is the most valuable one, it couldn’t have been anybody else but John. I think that, looking back, he was destined to end like this, it was almost written that he would sacrifice to save others, and for a hero, there’s certainly no other way to go.

You know that the stages of grief are five, and after shock and denial, there’s anger, therefore yes, I kinda feel angry as well, because they could have given him a more proper death: sure, it was poetic, to end in such a heroic way, and the flashbacks about him as a child, it was great, but still. I know that the season was short and they had very little time to wrap it all up, but that he dies, and no one even grieves, we just go directly to the peace part, it doesn’t feel right, but then, Root had the same fate, probably worse, considering she died all alone, while, to the very least, John had The Machine beside him and could say goodbye to Harold, so I guess it makes sense. Therefore we’re back to depression, skipping bargaining and delaying acceptance.

It’s like mourning a friend you just lost, and I know it’s irrational, but pretty impossible to avoid, I bet you guys can understand me, well, Irrelevants can, after all, we’ve already felt it in season 3, for Carter, and in season 5 for Root. Though it’s also a problem of mine, I just can’t bear the deaths of fictional characters, I get too invested in shows and books and such, therefore it’s traumatic. Yes, if I had a penny  for the time I’ve felt more for a fictional character than for a real person I’d have the money to pay the psychiatric help I obviously need, but that’s not the point.

This is in memory of John Reese, The Man in a Suit, our hero, our Dark Angel.

I cried. I have to admit it. I’ve never once, not one single time, cried, truly cried over a fictional death, yes, I was emotional for Carter, yes, I shared a tear when Sirius Black died in Harry Potter, same goes for Dumbledore, Fred Weasley, and the others Rowling sacrificed, but never once did I truthfully cry like an infant. This time I did. Although, truth be told, I cried throughout half of the episode. It was that much strong, be it because it was the end of such a marvelous show or because it was really heartbreaking.

We always knew John was on borrowed time, as The Machine said, and that might be true, but I kinda feel they just got rid of him, maybe because he would have been the most painful death. Way to teach fairy tales don’t exist. (Sorry, the stages of grief keep swapping places)

The biggest regret is that, aside from Jessica and CIA, we didn’t really get to know everything of him, barely now we know his real last name, which makes me want to sit down a write a fanfiction fully based on John Reese’s old life, and wasn’t I so busy with real life, I might.

What we do know is, that he lost his family, his dad died a hero (we had no doubt), and John molded his life to be the same, although we could have had some more insight into his relationship with his dad, and maybe we would have had it, hadn’t time been so little. John strayed a little, but in the end he got back on track, and I’m sure his father is proud. We also know he joined the Army because of a fight he got involved in, and that he joined CIA because of 9/11, that he left Jessica because of that, and that, hadn’t Finch found him, he would have let himself die because of her loss. John Reese in a nutshell, you could say. Better said, his life.

If I had to describe John Reese, I’d say not all heroes wear capes, some wear a suit. A good man, despite all his mistakes, and I think that’s the best part of him, he’s been on both sides, darkness and light, and he chose light, he got on a path to redemption willingly, and he stayed there, despite his demons. I think that’s the essence of humanity. There are no good or bad people, we all have good and evil inside, what we are, it’s up to what we choose, and John Reese kinda mirrors us, with his struggles to be a good man after all that darkness, actually, we’ve seen that he’s made a lot of progress since season 1, thanks to Finch and Carter, thanks to friendship, which is one of the best things in the world, if you ask me, because when it’s real, true, actual, it fulfills you in a way that you could never imagine. It’s a pure love, without the hormones part.

John Reese is one of the most perfect characters ever written, and I’m not biased when I say that Jim couldn’t have portrayed him better than that, I couldn’t picture anybody else in that role, same goes for the others, but specifically Jim.

This death is still very bitter to me, and part of me tells me it could have been done better, but in the end, it made sense, after all, we can’t always have a happy ending, well, technically Finch had it, though I bet that, had they had a full season, the writers would have done even better than this, even if this is enough to send us to a shrink. The bitterness remains, but I force myself to recall they had too little time, though that doesn’t mean I won’t be mourning for a while longer, because, just the same as I had lost a good friend, I try not to think of it, because thinking of it makes me kinda depressed.

Well, all that remains is to say THANK YOU to this amazing cast and crew.